The person you have become is some one you never thought you would know. The things you have been through have shaped and changed who you are today. Your life style choices and those you choose to associate with have developed your persona. Here, in middle class America you feel more empty and alone than ever before. Surrounded by your X-box & high-speed internet, you feel the vastness of the world running away and leaving you behind. No amount of technology can build up your broken self-esteem. You are responsible for your own actions. Life is a fragile balance and it can quickly be throw off by a seemingly minuscule interaction with the outside world. As dark times approach and quickly over come, how will you ready yourself for the downturn of our economy? How will you prepare for the times to come? What will you do when there is no hope?
A long time ago when I was much younger then I am now, i had all these dreams of fancy material possessions. Now as i age, i know that even if I had these childhood dreams in my possession I would not feel fulfilled. I feel empty inside and i feel i will always have this void. I wish to not be so alone yet every time i reach out and try to make a connection with another human being I am let down. I want to find someone or something that reflects how i feel about the world we live in. I need to know that someone else is going through what i feel inside. I do not wish to be alone but more often than not i am just that. All of American culture directs us to be the best and the prettiest and the fastest and the smartest and i am becoming tired of the rat race. These words sound old too. I feel this has all been said before and I am sure that it has; yet i feel it is my turn to put my two cents in. I am tired of the youth of our country being raised into a culture that is often looked down on by the rest of the world. I have aspirations to help our children grow and become the new generation of life savers. I do not mean i wish for american youth to be a sugary flavored candy, i just wish for our children to see what the values of life hold within.
I have worked hard to get to where i am today. I have very little to show for it. A few of my favorite things that i carry with me and can not remove are the scars that this life has thrust upon my body. I am alive today due to a friend of mine. When i was nineteen years young i was addicted to a substance so evil it nearly drained my soul from existing. I was at the bottom of my bottoms and only had one way out, or so i thought. I was an addict and a cutter which is a dangerous combination. I hurt myself to relieve tension i was the direct cause of. I used hard drugs and brick by brick i built my self a place to hide and die. I was unaware i was committing suicide but I soon came to the grizzly realization when i awoke cut all to pieces in a pool of what little blood i had left. If it were not for my best friend and guardian angel i would have taken my own life that night. I would not be here today to tell you all these things. I was under the most evil of influences and I was out of my own control. I let myself get so bad and it was only after i lost everything that i had any chance to start again.
I do not claim to know everything, I often claim the opposite. I am not a man of great power and the power i do posses is for loving not hurting anymore. I do not want to hurt others and i do not want to hurt myself. I am on this path for a reason and I need to stick to it to find out where it leads. For I am only what i put into this life and I want to get as much out as i can. So one more time here i go, with all my might, I will be heard.
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