Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Thoughts For Today.

The person you have become is some one you never thought you would know. The things you have been through have shaped and changed who you are today. Your life style choices and those you choose to associate with have developed your persona. Here, in middle class America you feel more empty and alone than ever before. Surrounded by your X-box & high-speed internet, you feel the vastness of the world running away and leaving you behind. No amount of technology can build up your broken self-esteem. You are responsible for your own actions. Life is a fragile balance and it can quickly be throw off by a seemingly minuscule interaction with the outside world. As dark times approach and quickly over come, how will you ready yourself for the downturn of our economy? How will you prepare for the times to come? What will you do when there is no hope? 
A long time ago when I was much younger then I am now, i had all these dreams of fancy material possessions. Now as i age, i know that even if I had these childhood dreams in my possession I would not feel fulfilled. I feel empty inside and i feel i will always have this void. I wish to not be so alone yet every time i reach out and try to make a connection with another human being I am let down. I want to find someone or something that reflects how i feel about the world we live in. I need to know that someone else is going through what i feel inside. I do not wish to be alone but more often than not i am just that. All of American culture directs us to be the best and the prettiest and the fastest and the smartest and i am becoming tired of the rat race. These words sound old too. I feel this has all been said before and I am sure that it has; yet i feel it is my turn to put my two cents in. I am tired of the youth of our country being raised into a culture that is often looked down on by the rest of the world. I have aspirations to help our children grow and become the new generation of life savers. I do not mean i wish for american youth to be a sugary flavored candy, i just wish for our children to see what the values of life hold within. 
I have worked hard to get to where i am today. I have very little to show for it. A few of my favorite things that i carry with me and can not remove are the scars that this life has thrust upon my body. I am alive today due to a friend of mine. When i was nineteen years young i was addicted to a substance so evil it nearly drained my soul from existing. I was at the bottom of my bottoms and only had one way out, or so i thought. I was an addict and a cutter which is a dangerous combination. I hurt myself to relieve tension i was the direct cause of. I used hard drugs and brick by brick i built my self a place to hide and die. I was unaware i was committing suicide but I soon came to the grizzly realization when i awoke cut all to pieces in a pool of what little blood i had left. If it were not for my best friend and guardian angel i would have taken my own life that night. I would not be here today to tell you all these things. I was under the most evil of influences and I was out of my own control. I let myself get so bad and it was only after i lost everything that i had any chance to start again. 
I do not claim to know everything, I often claim the opposite. I am not a man of great power and the power i do posses is for loving not hurting anymore. I do not want to hurt others and i do not want to hurt myself. I am on this path for a reason and I need to stick to it to find out where it leads. For I am only what i put into this life and I want to get as much out as i can. So one more time here i go, with all my might, I will be heard.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Long time no post.

It's been a long time.

I am in a new head space now as far as my feelings toward California. I like it here and hope to make friends and maybe someday have family here. I have met a lot of very interesting people and i have made many new memories that i will have for as long as I keep them. I love the environment i am in and I love the feelings of being in a new place. I miss my friends from the East but I know I will see them all again. I miss you Alison Angelo, and Squish Angelo. You two are one of the bigger reasons I am who I am today. I love you both LOTS.
I hope the world does not explode.
But if it does...I'll see you on the slopes of where ever we end up...


JFD

Monday, January 9, 2012

Going in Reverse

I can no longer keep my mouth shut about this strange weather we have been experiencing all across the United States.
I feel we are traveling in reverse,
I feel as though each passing day feels warmer and more spring like than the last. I know nothing of the science behind what is truly going on. I am however beginning to believe we just might not have a winter this winter. Gas prices soaring, Record high temperatures all across the nation. We need some truth to be told and we need some folks to start getting excited. This is not a normal event. I am fearful for our winters. I have heard talk of the poles shifting and how a quick enough pole shift could and would cause Global disaster. I hope that the binding factor of my generation is not that we all witness the end of Earth as we know it.
I know I sound crazy but i'm freaking out man...



FreakD

Saturday, January 7, 2012

F M L

I just wanted to know that someone was as invested in me as i was in them. I thought I was set and needed to just keep laying bricks until the homestead was finished and we were tucked in safe together, But what is ever just what it seems to be...

No snow in tahoe,
No Income,
Life is about as bad as it can be.
So much for this new year....

Have a nice day

F M L

I just wanted to know that someone was as invested in me as i was in them. I thought I was set and needed to just keep laying bricks until the homestead was finished and we were tucked in safe together, But what is ever just what it seems to be...

No snow in tahoe,
No Income,
Life is about as bad as it can be.
So much for this new year....

Have a nice day

Monday, December 26, 2011

christmas day after

Have fun all you shoppers of shopping. I hope you all have a jolly fun time exchanging the crap you don't need or the crap that doesn't fit. I am working so I am happy and  have nothing else to say.
please snow soon.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Sweet time

Today has been good.

The snow was cold and the wind was stiff;

Riding at Sierra has been fun, I am in for a treat tomorrow I will be working with Ryan of R.A.W Footy Films and editing a short for Ski Blog Ski Blog on blogger.com I am really excited and will enjoy this Fridays new "How To" flick.

FreakD